I Dream About the Mountains

Bluebells in England

I've been dreaming more and more about the mountains. It is where I long to be, and where my whole life I have wanted to live. I remember in 2005-2006 when I lived in England for a year and a half doing my Masters Degree, we lived in the mountains...well little mountains... in the green hills and beautiful lush valleys. I was in my element. I was so full of joy every day taking the train to school and looking out at the green rolling hills, each day thinking... this is beautiful...

I miss that terribly. I feel the ache from deep in my soul. I want to relocate to the mountains. Why don't I do it? Because my children are close the their father here, because my father is here, because my fiancee's family is here, beacuse we dont have the money right now to buy a home... because I am bound to Tampa, trapped like a caged bird waiting for her chance to fly free.

I took this photo of blooming bluebells when I was
living in England going to grad school. 

So I wait patiently. I hope and wait and pray that things will shift and my caged door will open and I will be able to fly up to the place my soul longs to be, to walk among the tall trees, to hear the crackle of pine needles under my feet, to smell the air, the crisp freshness of green mountain air, and maybe even dip my fingers into an icy stream, preferably one I am not sharing with a black bear!

For now I am planning next summer, a trip to the smoky mountains with the kids and my fiancee. Hopefully they will fall in love with it too, maybe it will be the first step to change. Maybe I will find a cute little cabin with my name on on... a cute home with a small barn where I can do art and write and be creative...

Oh what a dream... what a dream...